A Mom's Perspective

 

 

I grew up in a college town in Kansas. My parents had money and I lived in a pretty nice neighborhood. My parents were professional people who worked for the government. There was no drug or alcohol use in my home as a kid at all. My parents were maybe workaholics though. I probably could have done whatever I wanted, but I was rebellious. I started hanging out with the wrong people and started messing around with drugs. I dropped out of high school and got my GED. After I had my first three kids, I went back to school. I was able to finish three years of college, but I still have one more year to go.

 

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Accept Help to Turn Around my Life

Accept Help to Turn Around My LifeI’m seventeen years old and I’m in Independent Living.  I live in a big city and basically I live on my own, but I don’t really feel independent because I have to notify everything I do. I have a supervision plan, like I can’t leave or do anything without notifying staff or my parole officer. I was a juvenile delinquent. I was a violent child.  I’d argue with the principal and security at my school.  When I was 13 I started to be violent physically and my mom couldn’t handle it.  I got in trouble and my mom turned me over to the police.  It was just difficult to be in jail… it was very hard but I got through it.  I was one of the lucky ones that got helped in institutions.  I got through it by sheer luck.  From jail, I went to an institution. I got in trouble there too but then I started to do what they told me I should do, and I started doing well… some kind of transformation. I think that everyone at that institution was great and they helped me change, get my GED, and see that I can do well…

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Caring For Ourselves

Caring for ourselves

I was pretty much raised by my brother that was 7 years older than me because my mom was always out smoking crack. Even though we lived with her, we had to take care of ourselves. When my mom was smoking we'd live in shelters or in a dope house where there would always people running in and out of the house. If she was clean we'd live in nicer houses. We never had any stability and it was hard to be a family. It was really difficult to just be a kid. We saw so much and had to take care of ourselves. Some good things came out of it though. Some brothers and sisters don't get along but in my family my siblings are all really close. We have always pulled together. I went to probably 10 elementary school and 11 different middle schools. Only three years of middle school and I went to 11 schools! I never stayed at one school for a whole year until I was in foster care. At that time, I stayed in a high school for 2 1/2 years.

 

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Dealing Drugs

Dealing drugs

My dad left my mom when I was three years old so I can count probably on 2 hands the total number of times I've seen him. I lived with my mom, two older sisters, and my grandma. When I was 7 years old I ended up getting placed in foster care because of negligence. One night my mom left us home and we thought we were alone. Later we found out her boyfriend was upstairs sleeping, but my sister told someone at school we were all alone and so SRS was already called. After that, I was with my mom off and on, but it was pretty much downhill from there. My mom did crack, maybe shooting up some heroin (I found a needle but never knew for sure), lots of weedshrooms, and she was always an alcoholic. My mom struggled to feed us, so she would steal to provide for us. I learned how to steal from my mom. I'm not proud of that, but that's how it was. I'd steal bikes, car stereos. My mom would be in and out of jail. She wasn't much of a mother figure.

 

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Growing Up Around Drugs

Growing up around drugs

For the first part of my childhood, I grew up in the country with my parents, my brother, and my two sisters. I was always good in school. It was always easy for me. When I was a kid it was cool. We lived a pretty normal life until I was about 5 or 6, then my mom came right out and told me that they were doing drugs. My father was an alcoholic and there was domestic violence in the home. My dad started drinking a lot and doing meth. The domestic violence started escalating and he got my mom on meth. My dad went to jail and my parents got divorced, then we moved back into town. I didn't really know what to think. When I was older, I would tell my mom to stop and that I didn't want her doing it. I told her I would rather have her sell drugs than do drugs, but I just accepted it because, that's just the way it was. My mom always said she would stop or cut down, but it never really happened back then.

 

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Keep pushing yourself
I’m 22, I’m a sophomore in college and I have a one year- old son. I wasn’t ready for the world at 14, when I ran away from my grandma.  She raised me and my two sisters because my mom has been a crack addict and my dad has been in prison since I was little.  Grandma sheltered us too much; she didn’t talk about sex or anything.  She was always nagging for no reason. I started running away because it was more comfortable than dealing with grandma.  I love her and appreciate what she did for me, but it wasn’t all what I needed.
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Learning From Decisions

Learning From DecisionsI’m 19 and I’m in college.  I’m unemployed and last week I found out that I am pregnant. I’m excited about my pregnancy. I’m going to use my pregnancy as a motivator to go to school because I want a better life for myself and my child.  My boyfriend is supporting me now, but I can’t let anybody bring me down. I have to stand up for myself.

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Learning from Mistakes

Learning from mistakesWhen I was growing up, it sucked... My dad was an alcoholic, he smoked pot, and he'd beat us. I lived in a big city. My neighborhood wasn't a really good place for children, there were drug addicts living across the street. Police were always down there.

I have an older brother and older sister. My dad was abusive to the whole family. He'd yell and hit you when he was drunk. He hit my head through the wall once. It was scary painful. My parents used to have big fights. He cheated on my mom. One night my mom was trying to protect my brother and my dad cracked her ribs. That scared me a lot. I wished my mom called the police but she didn't.

 

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Moving Around

Moving around

Growing up, I lived in a trailer park in a small town with my mom, dad, younger brother, and sister until I was about 8-years-old. That's when my parents split up. I lived with my dad and step-mom until I was about 11. At that point, things got really hard, because my dad went to prison and I started moving around all the time. At first I was living with family and friends that I knew, but then I went into foster care. It was hard to be away from my family and not be able to see my younger brother and sister. At least I enjoyed going to school and I got along with my teachers. In fact, I still stay in touch with a couple of teachers from elementary school.

 

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Nobody to Rely On

My parents got divorced when I was in Kindergarten. Before they got divorced, my life was pretty normal. My dad was always an alcoholic, but my mom was better before the divorce. After my parents got divorced, I was bouncing back and forth between my parents. My dad did construction work and had to travel a lot, so I didn't get to see him as much. My mom worked all the time and dated a lot, so she wasn't around very much. It was like nobody was really there for me. When I was younger, my parents fought physically and the police would get called a lot. My dad drank a lot all the time. He drank everyday; it was like he never stopped. It got to be really normal to see him drinking.

 

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Planning my life
I’m 23, I graduated from college, and I just got married. I live on my own and I adopted a dog.  I have different types of siblings. I have two older brothers (one I grew up with) and 2 younger ones. I also feel part of one of my foster families, and I have a brother and two sisters.
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Taking a Different Path

Graduate with a diplomaI was born in an inner city area in the Midwest. You could say I grew up in the ghetto. For the first part of my childhood, I lived in a housing project with my grandmother, my two brothers, and some of my cousins. It was very crowded in our small house and we didn't have much, but I was happy. I didn't realize that we were poor. When I lived with my grandmother, I would see my mother sometimes. She lived with us too, but she wasn't there very much. I would only see her a couple times a year. She spent most of her time on the streets, doing drugs. That was her home. My mom was addicted to crack cocaine and wasn't very involved with me or my brothers. She never saw me grow up because she was never around.

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They Saw Me as a Druggie

My mom was really young when she had me. I don't remember her being around much until I got older. My grandma and grandpa helped raise me. When I was young we always lived in big cities even though we moved around some. The neighbors right near our house were fine, but close by were some bad neighborhoods. There were always people outside. There were drug dealers and crack houses. My middle school was 3% white. The rest of the students were Hispanic or African-American. I'd say it was pretty rough school. There were always a lot of fights and drugs. My high school was pretty good. There was a magnet program within our high school so there were a lot of good kids that were bussed in. There were still gang fights though between different hoods.

 

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