I’m 19 and I’m in college.  I’m unemployed and last week I found out that I am pregnant. I’m excited about my pregnancy. I’m going to use my pregnancy as a motivator to go to school because I want a better life for myself and my child.  My boyfriend is supporting me now, but I can’t let anybody bring me down. I have to stand up for myself.

My first semester as a freshman in high school, I got all Fs and I was on probation.  Then I got a probation violation that led to juvenile justice and custody. By the time I got to my final foster home, I’d been to five different high schools!  It was really difficult for me to graduate on time.  I had to work as hard as I could; I did summer school and took extra classes for extra credit and I graduated on time.

College at first was hard for me because it all depends on me. You don’t have anybody telling you “go to school”.  You don’t have as much pressure as in foster care, where you can get in trouble if you skip school; you can go back to juvie.   In college you’re a grown up, you have to push yourself.  To push myself I think of how my life was when I was a child, how everything was with my mom because she didn’t have education and she worked crappy jobs and lived off welfare; we were homeless for a couple of years.  I don’t want my children to go through that!  I want a stable job, a stable life. If I can finish college within my plan I’d be very happy.  My plan is to get an associate’s degree in computer programming at a community college then transfer to major in business management and minor in entrepreneurship. I want to start my own business helping lower-income youth and adults who have academic problems.

Money for college is important!  Apply for all kinds of scholarships, even if you think you’re not gonna get it.  I applied for so many!!! Many scholarships consider that you are in foster care. Because I was in foster care, it was easier for me to get into a program…  You can also apply for financial aid once you understand it.  Your independent living workers, teachers, career advisors, and other foster kids are resources to help you succeed.  They all have knowledge!! If you don’t know something, you can figure it out with their help.

My life- skills training, “Kansas Career Pipeline”, was really useful in my transition from high school to college.  They taught us how to write a resume, how to look for a job, career choices, etc. What they didn’t teach me I got from other people, like my foster mom. She was a great support; she was always behind me. She helped me understand college applications and scholarships, like choosing references (neighbors, foster home workers, teachers, etc).  I couldn’t really get help from my family in this transition, but my grandmother is a big supporter. She said “I don’t care that you don’t have a job as long as you’re in college, I support you”.  Nowadays you need a college degree to get better jobs!  I think that the hardest part of college adaptation is sticking through it.  Some people find college too difficult and they give up. But when you give up on college you’re only giving up on yourself. You are bringing yourself down.  Knowledge is everything!

My first foster home wasn’t really a good situation for me because they were verbally and emotionally abusive.  I requested to be moved from there.  Then I was taken to a small town with my foster mom.  I didn’t really want to move to a small town but then I met my foster mom and I liked her; we had no problems, so I stayed.  It was a great choice because I stayed there for the 3 remainder years of foster care. Without my foster mom and some workers’ help I wouldn’t have known anything about scholarships or anything! My foster mom was always supportive, I could use her computer to fix my resume or search information online. She was there! She didn’t do anything that held me back.  I’m still in contact with her, I call her and I feel connected. We got really close; it’s a strong bond

When I was with my foster mom, I did great! I had my first job for almost a year, but then I quit because my boss yelled at me in front of customers and I walked out; not good… That is my problem, my hot headedness got the best of me and I quit.  Another job was really far from where I lived and I didn’t have transportation, so I had to quit, but I also quit because I couldn’t stand the way that my boss talked to me. This was the time when I got into a car wreck. I got a concussion and I became too emotional; I had a lot of anger issues that led me to quit my job. Maybe it was because I was off depression medication as I exited care.  Now, I’m actually better… But I didn’t get psychological help. I’m going to get counseling now, just to make sure everything is OK.

Now it’s harder to get a job. I put applications everywhere; I keep trying and trying! They say they want experience, but if they like you, they will take you. So, it’s important how you present yourself… get dressed for your interview-- office casual; don’t curse. Show that you actually have education; present yourself well. You can’t go in your prom dress or wearing torn off jeans… It’s good to be open to any kind of job. I worked at a supermarket, gas station, fast food restaurants, sales, etc.  It’s also good to fix your resume. It’s basically the same information but with some changes. You have to work harder on the application and give the information they want.

Now, I live in a big city with my grandmother.  I used to have my own house.  I was paying my rent through a college program, but things fell through because I tried to help my mother. My 4 sisters and my brother were in custody and she was trying to get them back… that didn’t really work out.   I quit school to get a job, to help her out…  I got the house and bills on my name and my mom said she was gonna help me pay for everything but she didn’t.  I was the only one working or cleaning...  Then I ended up in a car wreck and I quit my job. My mom had already quit hers… My mom brought me down and I ended up homeless!  My grandmother let me stay with her…

I got a lot of learning through this experience: I need to take care of myself. Living on my own was really hard. There were times I didn’t know how I was going to pay my rent.  But I thought that I needed to do things.  You have to go out and at least try to find a solution; try to get a job, call churches…  There are times when you may think that everything is going to go wrong but if you try to work things out, it will be better. At least you tried!  Trying to help my mom was a bad decision because it brought me down. There’s no reason why I should help you, if you’re not trying to help yourself…

When I decided to move on my own, it was because of teen mentality… You just want to be a grown up, too fast.  I thought that when I got my own place everything would be great, but there are so many things to consider that you don’t realize until you’re in the middle of them…  Now I think I should have waited to live on my own.  I should have had more money and a stable job… I should have saved money for a vehicle, because now I ride the bus to school and I need a car to go to doctor’s appointments.   Sometimes things don’t work the way you want to… but I’ve learned my lesson well.