My dad left my mom when I was three years old so I can count probably on 2 hands the total number of times I've seen him. I lived with my mom, two older sisters, and my grandma. When I was 7 years old I ended up getting placed in foster care because of negligence. One night my mom left us home and we thought we were alone. Later we found out her boyfriend was upstairs sleeping, but my sister told someone at school we were all alone and so SRS was already called. After that, I was with my mom off and on, but it was pretty much downhill from there. My mom did crack, maybe shooting up some heroin (I found a needle but never knew for sure), lots of weed, shrooms, and she was always an alcoholic. My mom struggled to feed us, so she would steal to provide for us. I learned how to steal from my mom. I'm not proud of that, but that's how it was. I'd steal bikes, car stereos. My mom would be in and out of jail. She wasn't much of a mother figure.

My cousin let me hit some weed when I was 7. I drank heavily ages 9-11. I tried shrooms when I was 12, coke when I was 14. I tried meth and pills. I'd get it from friends or my sisters' friends.

I got in lots of trouble at school. I thought I didn't need it. In 6th grade they'd send me to another room to do my work everyday because I was disruptive. Once I told my teacher to "f-off" and then threatened to slap her. I got long-term suspension. Basically I was expelled from 6th grade. I was not going to school anywhere, then I was caught shoplifting, put in JDF, then on house arrest. I spent my 12th birthday on house arrest. At that point I called SRS because my mom was never home and I was hungry all the time. It was getting old. SRS brought us food, but I wanted to be taken so I called SRS again. The cops came out and got us.

I went to a foster family and got really into sports. I was still smoking a lot of pot, but I liked it there. That family decided to move out of state so I had to go with a different foster family. There were a couple other guys and they were really cool. I was like bet this is where I want to be. I was just getting into trouble. Same old stuff. I was doing shrooms, acid, pills, weed, coke. I was selling weed and making a bunch of money.

My grandma had a stroke and I got to go visit her. She was really laid back. She wasn't into drugs, but I got to hang out with her for 6 or 7 hours. My grandma died but I didn't trip because we got to say our last goodbyes and made some promises.

When I was 14 I ran away and got a tattoo that I regret now. I stayed with some family, traveled down to Oklahoma, and then turned myself in.

I spent 8 months in a group home and I did whatever I wanted there. I smoked weed with the staff. Me and her got along real well. Everything was going crazy. We just ran around, stole keys to the house, went anywhere we wanted, snuck out, and went to parties. When they found out everything we were doing I got sent to a foster home.

I started to make a shit load of friends, got my license, got a job, and bought a car. I got real close to my foster mom. We still stay in touch if I ever need anything at all like if I have any troubles or need advice I call her. I was smoking weed but other than that I was staying out of trouble. I started to have contact with my sister again, but since she had previous drug charges they decided they needed to start UAing me. I ran away and started selling drugs. I would dream of all the money I could make. A friend was selling meth so through him I started making connections. I didn't have nothing but the clothes on my back and $700 I'd saved up when I took off. I was staying in a hotel for a while. I started hanging out with my cousin because he had tons of weed I could get for cheap.

My cousin and his wife adopted a girl that had been in foster care. I began staying over at their house because I wanted to get with her. I said that was going to be my girlfriend someday. I'm talking to her and we ended up having sex. The first time we had sex the condom busted. She took a pregnancy test at school and found out she was pregnant. I got weed and coke and really started flipping that shit so I could save money for the baby.

Time went on and I had all this money. I tried the coke and me and my two buddies that were also selling it all got hooked. I started doing more and more, fatter and fatter lines, and spending all my money. I started missing doctor appointments with my girlfriend because I was coked out all the time. At first when I would do coke I was up and I didn't think about any problems. After doing too much I just felt drained. I know I lost hella weight like 15 or 20 pounds but I was trying to hide it from everyone. They all knew. One of my friends decided he didn't want to sell no more. He took all of his connections so we didn't have nothing left. I just struggled.

I got a job at McDonalds but I was still selling weed and doing coke. I could make a lot of money being the middleman. Even though I didn't have the drugs to sell, I could always get it for people. When my son was born I settled down a little bit - slowed down on the coke but was still working as a middleman. I was kicking it and blowing off my girlfriend. This guy ripped us off like $1700. He took off with our weed and we never saw him again. Then my cousin ripped me off on some bumper. I wrecked his car and he made me pay for the bumper but I didn't know how much it cost so he overcharged me.

I quit everything. After I got cleaned up I got a job. Last Christmas I could provide for my family because I had a great job. It felt good making money. Now I got my own car, apartment, bought some furniture. Living it up!

I'd promised my grandma before she died that I would finish school so I started working on my GED. I got it after a couple of months and I just recently started college. I'm going to be a pharmacist. That sounds bad because I've spent so much of my life selling drugs and now I'm going to go sell for the government I guess. That's my goal.

I don't talk to my family anymore. They are all junkies. None of them have jobs. I keep away from my family. One of my sisters has 4 kids. The other sister is a prostitute or escort or whatever. I'm the first person in my family to go to college. My family is bullshit-they lied, screwed me over. You'll never get no where if you are going to sit on your ass doing drugs, and trying not to get caught.

There was lots of drama when I was doing drugs. We were poor, always looking for the next fix, starving. Later my cousins turned on me, lied, they were very deceptive. I don't need them anymore. I cheated on my girlfriend numerous times. Crazy stuff that I regret now. My girlfriend would try to talk to me about my drug use but I'd just lie and deny that I was using like, "Naw, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't do drugs."

When I was young I looked up to the older people that were doing drugs. I wanted to be like them because I thought that was the cool thing. Now I laugh at people that do drugs. It's sad and I can't change it so I just call them a crackhead. I brag about what I've got. I think if people make fun of you while you're on drugs, that helps get some perception of yourself. You need to think out your whole life. Get completely sober and realize you don't want people laughing at you. I think that will help somebody that is using. You can tell people to quit but it won't change a damn thing. It won't help unless they want to help themselves.

Last year I did my last line of coke. Honestly, I don't know how I quit. I know I'm scared to do it again. I don't want to be broke, or be a fiend. I want to have money in my pocket so I can take care of me, my girlfriend, and my son. Doing drugs will get me caught and in jail. I don't want to lose what I've worked so hard to get. I don't want to lose my son or my girlfriend. Now I realize I needed my GED and I need college. There are people out there, like SRS that will put you in the right direction and give you assistance, but you've got to get up and get it yourself.