I’m 19 and I go to college.  I like learning, so college came naturally. It was something I always wanted to do to be a well-rounded person. I’m very persistent, especially when it’s something that I want. I work to get my goals. The things I want to do wouldn’t be possible without a college degree.  I work hard at school and I take advantage of any opportunity available: it’s a chance to grow and learn.

To go to college, I first chose my major based on what I like. I want to help people and impact the world in positive ways. I can use my skills and talents in my career: I can communicate well, be involved in the community, and influence people. My independent living coordinator helped me research colleges and she took me to some for a college tour. The college I chose was the one that had both majors as a degree. I got a tuition waiver, so the state pays for college.

I had a great IL coordinator who helped me move, she did every single thing that I needed, like a mom. It was awesome! When I went to school we had a case plan, with the basic skills I needed to develop, we identified my strengths and weaknesses. I worked through those and I completed all my tasks over a year. I learned how to get around and deal with the city bus and greyhound to visit my family. I ask questions; I don’t care if it’s stupid.  I called the city transportation because I couldn’t read the map. They gave me a plan on what bus, what time, where my stops were, etc. With the greyhound, I could get my ticket online. Having a car made it easier.

My first car broke. I saved to buy another car; I worked all summer and I used money I got from a Pell grant. Looking for a car, I asked my brother, my uncle, and some guy friends for help.  I went to car dealers, searched the internet, and test drove cars but there was nothing I liked in my price range. A friend took me to an auction and I got my car, so I don’t have any car payments.

In college, I lived in the dorms first but it was hard to live with roommates. They didn’t want to clean.  I did what I had to do and I was moved. I live on my own now. It’s hard because I barely pay all the expenses.  But what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. It’s been mostly challenging because I’m not a good budgeter.  Independent living (ETV) helps me pay the rent.  I didn’t really prepare to exit foster care. I packed my bags and left. I had developed basic skills: I knew how to cook, clean, get around, get a job and keep a job. Everything else I learn as I go. I wished I’d learned budgeting. I never paid attention during those lessons.

I can balance school and work because I get easy jobs. But it really is a challenge, especially last semester. I worked like 30 hours/week and took 15 credit hours. That was just too much!!! Now I use my time better, I can do some homework at work. But I often bite more than I can chew. I work well under pressure. I participate in groups and I am a leader so I need to organize my time. I schedule everything around school.  If I go beyond what I can do, I can’t function. I know my limits.

I work at an art gallery. I have to work at least 20 hours/week as a part of my case plan, but I had to use my savings while I found my new job.  Looking for a job, I put applications everywhere and I call back. I call, go in, and talk to managers to get an interview. In the interview, I make sure I impress someone: I “dress for success”, I speak clearly, and cover everything. I show them who I am. To keep a job, I’m on time, go above and beyond, keep the customer happy, and keep a pleasant work environment. I know about what I’m working with and I try to work well with others.

I depend on my own and I have a purpose in my life; I have nieces, nephews, siblings, and cousins who look up to me. I’m the first person in my family to go to college. I want to show them that they should go to school, have a career and be successful. My own inspiration gives me the strength to keep it up. I love that they consider me a resource. Now I’m the “go-to” person, if they have questions about college.

I chose to go into foster care, because I wasn’t taken care of. My dad, my stepmom, and my stepsister have been my biggest oppressors. I was tormented as a kid. My father was a drug dealer and my stepmom was a crack addict. My stepmom often blamed everything on me. When I was 15, my father went to prison and my mother was still addicted to crack. I stayed with my brother, but my father was controlling everything from jail and he kept a very tight chain on my neck. It just got unbearable so I moved in with my cousin but we had some problems and she put me out on the street, so I went into foster care.

As a kid I was always bounced around; a burden to someone. That really shaped who I am today because I’m so independent! I know how it feels to be put out with no place to go; to be let down constantly. Since I was a little girl, I learned not to depend on anyone, even if they’re close; the best thing to get anything done is do it yourself. I trust people but I recognize that they may abuse my trust. I keep my close circle very tight.

For advice, I go to my boyfriends’ mom. I look up to and trust her. She has a lot of life experience and good advice.  I respect her because of what she’s been through and her position in life.  I can also count on my brother and I can always count on God. I talk to my mom probably twice a week, but I don’t call her for advice; she can be crazy sometimes. I also have a mentor at school.

I’m outspoken. I don’t mind arguing with any guy. I’m not “princessy”. But I am as I am. It’s hard for me to see my own strengths sometimes, because I don’t see them as strengths, I didn’t have any other option. I learned how to braid hair, I did a lot of stuff. I was born to be resilient. Nothing keeps me down for too long. I refuse to be broken down. I refuse to live my life unhappy. You own your life and you choose how you live it. I wanna be free to express myself and do my own thing. It’s hard. I have down days, on those days I use that piece of strength in me.  Pain is only temporary.

Before you exit, learn how to do laundry, use the resources in the community, keep in contact with people, grocery shop, and budget. The biggest challenge is self-control. Push yourself to go to class and control your money. Don’t get pregnant. Don’t let other people define who you are and what you do.  Set goals for yourself, plan, and follow through with your plans. With that you’re gonna be successful.